The Pitfalls of an Introvert

I saw an introvert quiz on Instagram recently (the questions at the end of this post). Whether it an accurate test of introversion, I can’t really comment, but it doesn’t look too different from the introversion/extroversion test on Psychology Today. As I usually do when I see a quiz, I started going through it in my head and ticking the boxes. It’s probably the first quiz I’ve ever done where I ticked all the boxes. I wasn’t sure if that was a bad thing but I suspect it’s nothing to brag about either.

Social Connection is a Need

As strong as the desire to spend time alone is, there is an inherent danger in giving in to those wants. Human beings are social creatures and it holds true no matter how introverted we may feel. In fact, there is an interesting article on Social Creatures that presents a compelling argument that social connection is a basic human need.

Our need for social connection is so important that we have evolved a signaling mechanism that lets us know when we need more of it.

…these results suggest that social isolation triggered a “craving” response to social cues that was similar to food craving after fasting. In other words, people who experience social isolation or loneliness crave social connection like a hungry person craves food.

If social connection is a need then how does introversion fit into all of this? I would presume that if introversion is the enjoyment of being under water, then social connection is air. No matter how much we like being under water, we eventually need to come to the surface to breathe. Stay under water for too long and we will drown.

I remember spending a lot of time alone during one of my school holidays. My Dad and brother had gone off on a fishing trip and Mum was working on a group assignment so she wasn’t around much. At first, I really enjoyed having the whole house to myself. I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted without my parents nagging me to do the laundry or wash the dishes. I had the TV and computer all to myself and didn’t have to share them with my brother. The house was peaceful and quiet – just the way I liked it. My holidays could not get better than this and I thoroughly enjoyed myself – initially.

After a few days of this, I started to notice that I didn’t feel quite right. I didn’t understand what I was feeling or why I was feeling that way so I couldn’t make the connection that it was due to being alone. It wasn’t until years later, when I described the experience to a friend, that I finally found the words for it. I finally realised that it felt like I was losing my mind. Despite my introversion, I had spent too much time alone and I really needed recharge with social connection. The bottom line is that no matter how introverted we are, spending too much time on our own is unhealthy. Thankfully, I wasn’t alone for too long. My Dad and brother came back from their fishing trip and school started again.

Loneliness Weakens Our Immune System

There is plenty of evidence to support how vital it is for us to be connected to others. Isolation can directly affect how our immune system functions, making us more susceptible to illness. 

• Isolation can also suppress immune function. Infant monkeys separated from their mothers, especially if they are caged alone rather than in groups, generate fewer lymphocytes in response to antigens and fewer antibodies in response to viruses. –International Journal of Neuroscience
• Studies have shown that people who feel connected to friends – whether it’s a few close friends or a large group – have stronger immunity than those who feel alone –WebMD

Perhaps the most prominent example that has stayed with me for years is the following case described in “The Complete Secrets of Happy Children“.

At the end of World War II, there were a lot of orphans who needed care. A Swiss doctor travelled around to learn what were the best methods for taking care of orphaned babies. He travelled around Europe and examined all the different styles of orphan-care to determine which was the most successful style. He witnessed a large spectrum of infant care.

In some places where American field hospitals had been set up, babies were snug in stainless steel cots, in hygienic wards and getting 24-hour feeds of special infant milk formula from nurses in crisply starched, white uniform.

At the other end of the spectrum were the remote mountain villages where a truck would pull up and ask the villagers if they could look after half a dozen babies. These babies were raised in the arms of the village women, surrounded by children, goats and dogs. They were fed goat’s milk and eventually ate from the communal stockpot.

The doctor’s method of comparing the different forms of care was by using the death rate. This was a time where dysentery and influenza took lives of many throughout Europe, yet the children raised in the villages were thriving better than those children who were cared for in the scientifically-managed hospitals.

Isolation has a Negative Effect on Cognitive Function

As I grow older, what concerns me most about my introversion is the potential impact on my brain when I indulge in too much alone. There is a growing body of evidence linking social isolation and cognitive decline. A lack of social interaction can contribute to a decline in cognitive abilities like memory, reasoning, and processing speed. It can also potentially increase the risk of dementia in older adults. This is postulated to be due to reduced brain stimulation and increased stress associated with isolation.

While the research isn’t clearcut, the general findings suggest that a lack of social interaction leads to changes in certain areas of the brain, such as:

• A reduced prefrontal cortex – responsible for decision making an dsocial behaviour.
• Smaller than normal hippocampi and reduced concentrations of brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) – required for learning and memory.
• Reduced volume of the amygdala – associated with processing emotion.

How Much Isolation is Too Much?

I guess this is the million dollar question. Just as we all have varying abilities to hold our breath under water, the amount of alone time that begins to affect us negatively also varies depending on the individual.

If you’re looking for the Introvert Quiz, it’s here…

How Much of an Introvert are You?

• You’d rather text than call.
• You love canceled plans.
• You feel drained after socializing.
• You need alone time to recharge.
• You rehearse conversations in your head.
• You avoid crowded places whenever possible.
• You have a small circle of close friends.
• You get excited to stay home on weekends.
• You prefer deep conversations over small talk.
• You feel awkward in group settings.
• You get overwhelmed by too much socializing.
• You often think of the perfect response after the conversation is over.
• You enjoy solitude more than social gatherings.
• You secretly hope people cancel plans so you don’t have to.
• You feel more comfortable expressing yourself through writing than speaking.